The topic of my first blogs is "why to have kids ?" It was a family get together and over there, there was some discussion going upon kids and that made me think seriously upon this topic as a parent. It has been a while since I am thinking about this topic but never thought about it as seriously as I did it yesterday.
'BABY' is a simple bio product formed and all breed & species of animal give birth to their younger ones. Every parent love their kids, take care of them irrespective of species of animal.
When life evolved, human parents were also just similar to any other animal parent. It was a product formed due to opposite sex attraction. But are the things same with humans still ? In the biological process, yes. Love and affection for the kids, yes. But may be different in the way human child is brought up, and most importantly, human child is no more an unaware product and birth of human child is controllable.
Then why couple still want a kid ? Present couples don't run out of the fear that if they will not reproduce then it will lead to end of human race.
Does it act as an adhesive for binding the couple together forever?Or they want a kid on which they can bank upon in their tough times? Is it a sign of love between a couple? Or does they want to have it as it will give a sense of maturity, adulthood ?
Is it the genuine love, affection they feel for kids ? Normally people really like kids, and thus they wish to have their own. It is really a joyous moment to see them when they do cute things, when they talk, when they walk, when they do naughty things, etc. I also enjoy these moments. But having a child is not about the cuteness, it is a responsibility of blooming the seed into the flower with the desire of imparting the best colors to it.
Is it a need in terms of old man stick? If yes, then I would term it to as bad selfish desire.
It is been often said that kids form the family which gives satisfaction, parents work hard for their kids, kids form parents happiness etc. Is it this society mindset that flows inside most of us and has been so much engraved inside our beliefs that we feel incomplete family if we don't have kids ?
Or may be, it is simply a human nature to have kids which is more than a byproduct of physical attraction and something that cant be tampered.
It is been often said that kids form the family which gives satisfaction, parents work hard for their kids, kids form parents happiness etc. Is it this society mindset that flows inside most of us and has been so much engraved inside our beliefs that we feel incomplete family if we don't have kids ?
Or may be, it is simply a human nature to have kids which is more than a byproduct of physical attraction and something that cant be tampered.
These are some of my questions and thoughts on "why kids", may be with time my mind set will also take colors of society mind set on this topic or will show the sign of human nature.
That's a very good point - "human child is no more an unaware product and birth of human child is controllable". I think one reason why people have kids is for progress, or better said, for the need to move on. Humans by nature desire change, when they get comfortable at a position in their life, they enjoy it for a while and then that comfort becomes monotonous and boring. So we get education, then we take up a job. We enjoy that phase of our life, working hard on weekdays, going to movies, playing sports on weekends etc. But after a while, you are done with all types of movie watching, book reading, outings etc. You want a new excitemen in your life. I feel people have a kid when they feel the kid will fulfill their life, not let it remain stagnant :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, a good point .. I wanted to write that down too .. It is a big commitment though and also many couples crib that they cant go to movies etc when their kids are small Or they go to movies, adult parties etc with keeping nannies. What when they get bored of their kid too ? :)
ReplyDeleteWell interesting thought!! why kids?? To be honest I dont think m mind is mature enough to comment on why people want kids. But you make a point about if its about an old man's stick and if yes thats selfish. I dont agree with that. I think the desire to have support, companionship is something every human wants and we each have our own ways of trying to get those. We marry because we dont want to be alone when the sun sets, and if we have kids for having support during our old age, I think thats just human desire. If my parents were to tell me we look upon you as our stick for our old age, I would feel good that they think im worthy enough or capable enough rather than getting the feeling that they are being selfish. But thats just me :)
ReplyDelete@ Puneet: Yeah, may be it is just another form of companionship that ppl want in form of kid, upon whom they can bank totally. Even I would like to be support for my parents too. But I would not like to have kid because I would want him/her to be my support in future.
ReplyDeleteWell written. Must say all points are very nicely taken care of. Good flow. I never gave this subject a thought, so really don't have anything to opine upon. But, I must say, whenever I do so, I will revisit your blog. Good job!
ReplyDeleteComplex but at the same time trivial subject and definitely not one good answer. It has something to do with materialistic things and at the same time spiritual. There can be many reasons why people have kids. In earlier days, it was more about having a lineage and some assurance of security in the later part of life. Also as everybody has them, it had to do with society too. But if we leave the reasons aside, the experience is more spiritual. So it'll be difficult to explain to people who havent had them yet. But in simple terms, it's the state you'll strive forever. The state of unlearning and point blank and clear about everything coming. As nothing is designed and it's pure innocence, you feel a sense of bliss and a living state of God (if exists). It's a pure state as from this time onwards, we make her learn the way world runs. If somebody didnt understood it that way, I would suggest to take it as invaluable spiritual experience which can change your life. As far as responsibility and commitment of the parenthood is concerned, that's default and cannot be compromised.
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